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My Husband and I met  and married in our early 50’s.  The first 18 months was a real honeymoon period for us - new life, new
home and everything was wonderful, apart from his sleeping patterns.  At the time we blamed his work, a round trip of 150
miles driving each day.  This meant leaving home at 6.30 am and not getting home until 7 in the evening.  He spent most of
the weekend falling asleep, sometimes while we were talking!  He had no energy for doing anything.  Shopping, walking the
dog, gardening, even a social evening with friends became too much.  He kept saying he wanted to do these things but just
didn’t have the energy after the long hours during the week.

During the night his snoring was very bad and at times he would stop breathing altogether.  At times he would sit up in his
sleep.  Other times he would slide out of bed and spend the night sitting on the floor – all in his sleep!  One night I was woken
up by an almighty crash and found him in the bathroom.  In his sleep he had walked into the bathroom and put all his weight
on the towel rail.  When his legs gave way the rail came off the wall and I found him, towel rail, towels, plaster and tiles on the
floor!  He had no memory of even getting out of bed.  Another morning when I went to open the living room curtains I found the
coffee table smashed on the floor.  He had walked into it in his sleep (we live in a bungalow) then turned around and got back
into bed!

As I lay awake listening to him snoring I realised that his breathing/ sleeping patterns were far from alright.  It was as though
his adrenalin levels never switched off.  He was  constantly on the move and never seemed to go into a really deep sleep,
something I knew that is important for mental and physical health.  I suggested he ought to talk it over with his doctor, but like
most men he went into denial and made every excuse he could think of, still blaming his work. One evening he came home
obviously shaken and with scratches and dents on his car.  He said caught the edge of some bollards.  After this I made an
appointment for him at the surgery and went with him to explain to the Doctor exactly what was happening.  After examining
his nose and airways, she suggested that he may have a breathing problem. She would refer him to the ENT clinic at our
local hospital but warned us that it may a long wait as his case wasn’t critical!  

So the years rolled on…………

So the years rolled on in much the pattern as before;- disturbed nights, with me often sleeping in another room just for some
peace and quiet.  Days out & holidays became a problem because I didn’t enjoy sitting next to him for long distances in the car.  
He insisted his driving was O.K. but in truth his driving was so erratic it was frightening.  In the end I insisted on doing the
driving, on the pretext the he could relax and enjoy the scenery!  He didn’t realise that he would sleep for most of the journey.  
Even on aircraft he would nod off before the plane taxied down the runway.  On foreign holidays we would explore local
places and stop every few yards while he sat down and I took a few photo’s, or we would visit every coffee house & restaurant
to sample their delights, making ourselves very popular in the process.

It took about 2 years to get an appointment with an Consultant at the ENT clinic at our local hospital.  Looking back it was
obvious that he didn’t have much experience with sleep problems.  He told my husband to get more exercise & loose weight,
though he did offer to put us in touch with a sleep clinic.  They would visit us at home and do various tests while my husband
was asleep, but it wouldn’t be on the NHS.  As it didn’t recognise sleep disorders as an illness, we would have to pay.  As we
left his surgery the consultant whispered to me that my husband had to lose weight or he would be dead in 5 years!   Why he
told me and not my husband I don’t know, but you can imagine how this made me feel.  Do I tell my husband what had been
said and both of us spend the next few years worrying or do I say nothing and just try to get him change his life style? I
decided to say nothing for the time being.

A few weeks later someone from the sleep clinic contacted us and made an appointment to visit us.  She duly arrived one
evening carry lots of bags and explained that he would be wired up with contacts on his chest, fingers and throat.  These
would be connected to a ‘black box’ that would measure blood pressure, oxygen levels, breathing rate etc.  She showed us
how to put the contacts on before he went to bed and said she would return the next day to collect the monitor.  

A week later they phoned back to say they  had assessed the results  which were some of the most extreme they had had!  It
was suggested they deliver a machine that he would have to use at night.  It acted as a pump connected to a hose and mask  
that he would wear at night.  This would pump air into his lungs all night and so stop his airways collapsing (which was why he
stopped breathing).

While this was going on we had visits to dieticians who said our diet was ‘sensible’.  We then went back to own Doctor who
booked him in for a range of tests.  The results came back that he had both diabetes and high blood pressure, a relief in a
way because that explained the mood swings and we could get that under control.  She also said he should get more
exercise!  By this time he had managed to get a transfer at work to an office that was only an hours drive way, not ideal but a
lot better than it was.

In time the machine (called a c pap machine) arrived, at a cost of several hundred pounds. The first time my husband used it
I really did try hard not to laugh, he looked like a cross between an elephant and something from outer space! At least my
giggles broke the tension!  Though he only stayed connected to it for a few hours his sleep was peaceful and I had several
hours of uninterrupted sleep.  Pure bliss.

He religiously connected himself up to it every night, but could only use it for a few hours.  The continuous flow of air caused
his mouth to dry out, hardly able to speak because his mouth was so dry. He also started to experience some very weird and
vivid dreams, waking up frantic and panicking, though he had no memory of what he was dreaming.  He did think it was
something to do with the force of the air being blown down his throat.  We contacted the Sleep Clinic again and told them of
the problems he was experiencing, but they couldn’t offer any real solutions.  The machine’s pressure of pumping  had been
set according to his pattern of breathing and couldn’t be altered.  They had done all they could.

Though he really did try for a while, in the end he started to have ‘pump free’ nights just so he could have a night without the
dreams.  Gradually the nights with the pump were getting fewer and fewer, until he was no longer using it all.

So we were back to where we were, with the snoring, restless nights, falling asleep during the day. We couldn’t even enjoy a
night at the theatre or cinema because he would nod off, and start snoring.  Then the people in front would turn around and
glare at me!  His work really started to suffer.  It was obvious his bosses had noticed that he was often asleep at his desk.
A joke at first but then they became more irritated, which put my husband under more pressure. Then something happened
that really turned our lives around!  

So time went on in much the same pattern, the disturbed nights, and spending much of our free time at home because going
out became such an issue.  My Husband had been working at his new office for about a year when new contractors were
bought in. We guessed that they would be looking for voluntary redundancies some time in the future.  In anticipation of this
my husband decided he would like to do a part-time course at University to take a Masters Degree to prepare himself for
going out into the job market again.

All this added a lot more stress to an already stressful situation, and one particularly bad night my husband got out of bed in
the early hours of the morning, turned to take his dressing gown off the door and then fell to the floor!  He thought he had just
sprained his ankle and got back into bed. By the time he should’ve been getting ready to go to work it was obvious he
wasn’t going anywhere, except to A and E!  X-rays confirmed that he had broken his ankle, a spiral fracture that would need
an operation to be pinned back into place. This meant 3 days in hospital waiting for a slot to get him into theatre, but
eventually he came home with a plaster up to his knee and crutches.  he would need at least 6 weeks off work for the ankle to
mend.

During this time he received the letter about voluntary redundancies from his bosses, and decided it would be a relief not to
have to do all the driving he had be doing. Meanwhile I would deliver him to the University on crutches for his lectures.

It was during this time that our GP contacted us about a sleep study that was to be conducted by a top sleep specialist at the
King Edward VII hospital in Midhurst.  She asked if we would like her to put my Husband’s name forward.  Would we? Daft
question!

It only took a few weeks for the appointment to come through, and we duly arrived at the Hospital with my Husband still in
plaster.  What a wonderful and knowledgeable man this Consultant was. He knew just from listening to my husbands
breathing that his airways were severely obstructed, his nasal passages & airways in his throat were very narrow and this
was restricting the amount of air reaching his lungs.  A few tests in his own clinic revealed that the muscles that should
support these airways were not doing their job and would collapse when he was asleep and stop him breathing.

His subconscious would jerk him into breathing again.  This was happening up to 200 times a night and was why he was
never able to reach a deep sleep. This wonderful man also went onto explain that all this meant that very little oxygen was
reaching his brain and was why sufferers were constantly falling asleep.  Not only that, the muscles and bloodstream  were
being starved of vital oxygen which is why they couldn’t walk very far.  This would lead to an increase in weight, and it would
be unrealistic to expect a sufferer to be able to lose weight!  All this could lead to high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and
heart problems.  

When we showed him the C pap machine we had it turned out it was a very early model that was quite inadequate for my
husband’s condition.  Much better machines are now available. These are computerised and would ‘breath’ with the patient
reducing the dry mouth and other symptoms.

There was one more appointment at the hospital to collect the new machine and that was it!   I must admit I was doubtful if
things really would change after so long, but it was obvious after only a few nights that things were really much better.  I could
have a conversation with my husband again with out him falling asleep and we started to go out and have a social life together!

Last year we even went abroad for a holiday – the first time in 6 years!  We still stop and explore every coffee shop and
restaurant when we’re out, but now it’s because we want to, not because we have to!

The NHS still won’t accept Sleep Apnoea as an illness, which is why GP’s and ENT Consultants in NHS hospitals know so
little about the condition.  We were lucky, I don’t like to even think about where my Husband or I would be now, if it hadn’t
been for that Consultant who decided to specialise in sleep problems.

P.S. My Husband went on to gain his Masters Degree, and now works locally in a job he really enjoys!


                                             For more information on sleep apnoea, please select the following external link:
                                                                  [ British Snoring & Sleep Apnoea Association]